All I Want For The Summer Is A Pygmy Pony.

I know what I want.  Not diamonds, or gold or rubies.  Just a pygmy guide-horse.  (Well, maybe a golden pygmy guide-horse draped in diamonds and rubies but the horsey part is the important bit).

If you look here you’ll want one too.   Now before anyone starts objecting, I know I’m not blind but I do wear glasses and I need a lot of direction because of my geography-impediment.

And I know a guide-horse is not just for Christmas, or in this case, a blog post.  I’ve checked it out and I can meet the requirements:-

  • Do I have an outdoor area to graze and play – Yes.  Pygmy pony can graze on the open space of the apartment blocks.  He can also sit on the balcony and day-dream.
  • Your house must allow exotic animals or livestock – This won’t be a problem.  I’ve already had to make provisions for the flying monkeys I took on last week.
  • A mini horse friend.  Horses are herd animals and get lonely without a horse companion – I’ll simply despatch said flying monkeys to procur another horse and in the meantime they can provide companionship.
  • A commitment – Mini horses can live to be more than 50 years old – Unlike other areas of my life, when it comes to pygmy ponies, I am not a commitment-phobe.

I can’t wait till I have my pygmy.  He comes house- and airplane-trained so I can bring him on the red-eye with me.  We’ll be upgraded free to business class because pygmy horsies have to get a good flight’s sleep.  He’ll undo his velcro shoes and slip on an eye mask so he can contemplate what it feels like to be blind.   I think I’ll call him Barry.  Or Julian.

One day he’ll save my life by spotting that I have put on an odd pair of shoes that would otherwise cause me to trip and fall onto the road in the path of an oncoming articulated truck.

Question – seeing as it’s Galway Race week, do you think someone down there would locate a pygmy pony for me?  I could hide him under the table in the champagne tent and he could provide guidance later in the day when things are a little dizzy.

 

  • Ray

    Hi Cora,

    I think Hasbro have brought out a range of ‘My Little Pygmy Ponies’. I would check with Smyths Toy Store – the only problem is that they could be plastic! It would not be good if Julian could not save your life if he was unable to move!!!

  • Cora Sherlock

    Hmmm, you’ve got a point there Ray. I’d better make it very clear when I’m ordering in – movable joints…Poor Julian, I get the feeling he’s got his work cut out for him!!

  • Barry

    Are you really going to name him after me? I’m flabbergasted, flattered and frightened!

    B

  • Cora Sherlock

    Barry – you sound fretful, fearful, fidgety! If someone wanted to name their pygmy guide-horse after me, I’d be delighted. But if you’re really worried, don’t panic. The jury’s still out on Barry/Julian and Ray seems to have presumed that he’s Julian so I might be leaning that way if that looks like the mob’s decision.